Welcome to confession season in the colourful world of professional cycling. The list of big names that have finally remembered what they did in the mid-90s continues to grow. “Oh I see the confusion. You were asking me about E.P.O. and I was talking about the band E.L.O. No, I definitely took to E.P.O.”
The bratwurst-loving crew down Oktoberfest-Mobile including sprinter extraordinaire Eric Zabel are the latest in a string of outings. Apart from the now ubiquitous apology, what really concerned me about Eric’s commentary was his suggestion that in the mid-90s drug testing was sporadic at best…and that nothing had really changed since…
The pharmaceutical industry needs professional cycling like Halliburton needs the US to continue to stay at war, wherever. What cycling lacks in credibility it more than makes up for in creativity. Consider just these two:
- Three time Tour De france winner Greg LeMond’s efforts to convince Floyd Landis (potentially the 2006 Tour winner) to come clean by confessing that he himself was abused as a child. Greg LeMond will obviously always be better known for winning the 87 Tour de France by the smallest winning margin ever rather than his grasp of psychology.
- Tyler Hamilton using the excuse that the unusual level of testosterone in his system was a result of his biological twin being absorbed into his body while still in utero. According to one reputable site, Tyler’s defence trump card rested on arguing that a cursed tiki charm caused the false positive tests to surface. Indeed, they tried to show that it was the exact same tiki charm shown in The Brady Bunch, episodes 73 – 75 that caused Greg to wipe out on his surfboard and nearly drown, Peter to be attacked by a very scary spider, and many other dangerous – yet entertaining – incidents.